Terry Cole’s leadership philosophy is refreshingly non-transactional. Rather than positioning his ministry as a provider of quick fixes, he describes it as guidance rather than rescue. “We’re not a Walmart. We’re not a bank. We’re really the guidance counselor for the street,” he explains.

At the center of this approach is agency. When a young person asks for help, the response is not “What do you need?” but “What are you working on?” This small shift reframes the relationship, inviting ownership rather than dependency. If the individual has a plan, the ministry walks alongside them with encouragement and accountability. If not, options are explored together, often drawing wisdom from the surrounding community.

This respect for autonomy is not indifference. It is a deliberate choice to honor the truth that lasting transformation cannot be forced. “If you don’t want it, I don’t want it for you right now either,” Terry says, emphasizing that change must come from within.

The urgency of this work is underscored by a sobering reality. Youth homelessness is far more widespread than many realize. One in thirty children in the United States experiences homelessness, and among young adults aged eighteen to twenty-five, that number rises to one in ten. These young people often lack the tools and life experience needed to navigate systems designed for adults, leaving a critical gap that relational ministries are uniquely positioned to fill.

Perhaps most striking is Terry’s emphasis on boundaries as an expression of love. “Love is best delivered through very strong boundaries,” he says. Within his ministry, boundaries protect both the community and the individuals they serve. Communication is transparent and shared among the team to prevent misuse of power. Harmful choices are not endorsed, but neither do they lead to rejection. Even when someone must step away for the safety of the community, the door remains open for reconciliation.

This intentionality extends to how churches and organizations structure their outreach. Terry encourages leaders to define their no’s before their yes’s. Clear limits prevent burnout and allow ministries to show up consistently and sustainably. Saying yes to fewer things, done well, becomes an act of faithfulness rather than scarcity.

This newsletter is adapted from The Liberating Power of Boundaries: How to Lead with Agency and Love by David Seweryn.

Read the full article here:

https://collective.kingdomfactor.us/articles/david-seweryn/liberating-power-boundaries-lead-agency-love